Coding matters: Charmaine vs The Chatbot

AI-generated cartoon image. A boxing ring, with a woman wearing boxing gloves on one side, and a robot on the other. Instead of a refereee, there is a person on the computer.

AI is now widely used in call centres. I’ve read that. But I didn’t give much thought to how it is used. 

I’ve seen a demo of AI chatting to a customer. That must be the cutting edge scenario. Until this week, my only experience was chatbots. You know, those annoying web apps with pre-programmed responses to a limited choice of questions.

Round 1: The chatbot

My portable credit card machine is giving problems. Rather than call the vendor, I decided to use the online chat facility. As expected, I first had to answer some pre-programmed questions. Then the chatbot instructed me to wait for technical support.

I waited. And waited. And waited. Then I gave up. Every South African knows the truth: At 15:30 on a Friday, the country is closed. The support staff had gone off for the weekend. The chatbot was probably programmed for Chinese working hours.

I tried again on Monday morning. To speed things up, I covered all the bot questions in my first message. That didn’t work. The chatbot asked all the questions anyway. Once again, I had to wait for technical support.

Round 2: Enter Charmaine

Thirteen minutes later, at 09:22, Charmaine entered the chat.

Here is a short summary of what happened:

09:27: I provided the serial number of my device.
Fifteen minutes of silence. What could take so long? Monday morning coffee break? Did she have to walk to another floor to confirm the serial number?
09:43: I asked if Charmaine was still there.
10:02: I was told to re-install the app on my phone.
10:06: I was told to disconnect Bluetooth on my phone.
10:08: I was told to switch off the device.
Fifteen minutes of (my) frustration.
10:24: I was told to switch Bluetooth on.
10:25: I was told to try a test transaction.

Round 3: The 30-second jab

Why did I get frustrated about switching off the card machine?

The device switches off within a few seconds if it is not processing a transaction. I can’t change this. To do a hard reboot, I have to jab it with a paperclip and hold for at least 30 seconds. This leads to an interesting problem. If the device switches off so quickly, how will I know if it has restarted?

This was Charmaine’s answer:
“The switching off is designed to be a power saver, helping you use battery power efficiently.”

Nobody talks like that.

Was Charmaine a real person? I was already suspicious. The responses were written in perfect English. That was a red flag. I write above-standard English, but in my experience, most call center agents do not. For most of them, English is not even their first language.

So I asked Charmaine if she was human. Her reply: “Yes, I am here to help you.” 😖(Emoji of me pulling a face.)

I know it was a stupid question. She was never going to tell me the truth.

Round 4: The mystery contender

The device connects to my phone via bluetooth. So I was unhappy that the app now required my location. Here’s that conversation:

10:37 | Me: Why does the app want my location?
10:42 | Charmaine: The app requests your location to support certain features and help ensure the app functions correctly.
10:42 | Me: What features?
10:43 | Charmaine: Kindly note that we have upgraded our products and services to provide you with a better merchant experience.

Aaaaaagh! I would have preferred a South African response like: “Eish, I don’t know.”.

The longest reboot in history

The starting point for any first-line support agent is to tell you to reboot the device. It doesn’t matter if it is a computer, a phone, a router, a Kindle, or an MNet decoder. Rebooting is the magic fix.

This used to drive me nuts in the pre-fibre era. Whenever we had problems with our internet connection, the ISP support agent would start there. Isn’t that the first thing everybody does anyway? So I would tell them I’d done it before they told me to do it. Then we could move on to a more meaningful attempt to solve the problem.

Don’t think about whether my issue was resolved. (It wasn’t.)
Think about the fact that it took an hour for me to be told, in summary, to reboot.

Another aaaaaagh!

The worst of both worlds

Charmaine felt like a chatbot. She ignored my questions and went through a standard sequence. And, of course, the excellent English.

But that long delay between my question and her response was so human. So South African. So like the Department of Home Affairs.

What would explain this? I imagined one person trying frantically to respond to messages from 25 different customers. The AI agent pops up optional responses, and then waits until one is selected.

Afterwards I did some quick research on the use of AI in call centres. And I got it right. More or less.

Gemini called this “Human-led, AI-assisted”. It seemed more “AI-led, Human-optional” to me. Was Charmaine overrun by multiple chats? Or was she chatting on WhatsApp while I was waiting? Did brain rot mean she just clicked the first option every time without checking? Or was she really not human?

For me, it was the worst of both AI and human support. Except for the decent grammar.

Have you had a similar AI-human experience with a call centre? Please share your thoughts.

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