Some of us (older folks) remember when a phone was just a phone. You could make and receive calls. You could set an alarm. You could send SMSes – if you were willing to press the #4 key three times to get an “i”. And a ringtone sounded like a ringtone.
Now phones are more like props from an old sci-fi movie. Apps for everything from meditation to measuring how high you can throw your phone. Video calls to the opposite side of the world. And invisible tethers that keep our phones glued to our hands.
Don’t worry that the radio frequency radiation will cook your brain cells. Worry that you are never alone. Someone, or something, is tracking your every move.
[Play horror‑movie music that sounds like your ringtone.]
Your car has proof
Now that it has control of your phone, the unseen enemy – I’m not naming names – is coming for your car. Why only sell you the ability to drive from one place to another? The options are endless (and profitable).
[Play quiet but ominous music here.]
In recent years, data privacy violations by cars have hit mainstream media. This is real. Modern cars track everything. Where you are going. Whether you are wearing your seatbelt. How hard you braked. Who you called on your phone. What music you listen to. And, possibly, if you pulled a face at the traffic cop. It’s all recorded and sent off via your car’s internet connection.
The plot against you
Here is the chance for the ultimate digital conspiracy.
Your phone sends you social media posts to convince you that you need that car to be successful. Buy, buy, buy!
Then it shares your movie preferences with your car. Your car plays the latest movie ad on your dashboard screen. Buy, buy, buy! Here is a QR code for the ticket and a scan-to-pay app!
A news article inspired this post. Recently BMW pushed an ad for the new Spiderman movie (plus BMW vehicles) to dashboard screens in compatible cars. Drivers were furious. Their expensive vehicles were being used as billboards.
That was not a subtle move. But it’s easy to imagine sneakier ways to control you.
[Play manic laughter here.]
The conspiracy grows
Soon your home appliances will join this conspiracy.
A computer programmer, Harishankar Narayanan, discovered that his robotic vacuum cleaner sent a 3D map of his home to overseas servers. After he blocked the data, his vacuum stopped working. Even household gadgets can hold a grudge.
Smart fridges can check your shelf contents. Smart toilets can monitor the after-effects of what you eat (really!). Soon smart washing machines will infer your activity from the stains on your shirt. Was that blood or beetroot salad? The machine knows. The machine always knows.
[More manic laughter.]
I need a new microwave. But what if it snitches about how much hot chocolate I drink? I don’t need health advice from an appliance.
The future isn’t full of killer robots. It’s full of polite, helpful devices that quietly collect and sell our data. And that may be even scarier.
What do you think? Share your comments.