In the rush to embrace all things AI, there’ve been some sad casualties. Customer service is limping along with broken bones. And POPIA must be on life support, because my data keeps disappearing into a digital graveyard.
This month I’ve been forced to practice patience, deep breathing, and the art of quick toilet breaks while holding for a human.
Form? What form?
First there are the online enquiry forms. How often have you filled in an online enquiry and never heard from the company again? I’ve lost count. It’s like playing the lotto, with about the same chance of success. Where did my data go? Is it living with the teaspoons?
Automated responses tell me the enquiry reached the server. That’s like the tracking system that tells me my parcel reached the SA Post Office. It might never be seen again.
After two enquiries to the same company went unanswered, I phoned them. My enquiry was important – to me, anyway. I was told that website enquiries are sent to an unmonitored email address. The person admitted that with no apology, and no sense of shame. Why even have an online enquiry form? My mind boggles. Or, as a verb which I have decided needs to exist in South Africa, I was “eished”.
Then I made an online booking on the Department of Justice site. I was delighted that I could schedule a face-to-face appointment. I don’t know where that appointment went, because nobody at the DoJ knows the booking system exists. Good thing I had my Kindle with me. It’s my version of an emotional-support device – it calms me when I wait in queues.
Press 0 for 0 help
Telephone systems are also culprits. Recently I had to phone the CIPC (Companies and Intellectual Property Commission) because their online system wasn’t working. Please don’t get me started on that system. As is so often the case, I had to enter my ID number using the keypad. And yet the consultant didn’t know who I was. I have so many questions. Why did I enter my ID? What test did I pass? Who is using my ID? What are they using it for? A lucky draw? A secret government operation?
That was my second call to CIPC to try to resolve my issue. The first call was less successful. I worked my way through the menu options and was, in theory, put through to the right person. The call was picked up, ignored, put down. I was then asked to rate the consultant who never spoke to me. “Please rate our consultant on a scale of 1 to 5.” There are no prizes for guessing the score.
What happened to that review? What happened to all those conversations that are recorded for “quality and control purposes”?
Where is the human?
And then there are the chatbots. First I type in a whole paragraph explaining the problem. Then the chatbot asks me a question that has nothing to do with my query. No matter what I type, it asks if I want to book a sales appointment. I think the chatbots are trolling me.
So I choose the option to talk / type to a real human.
Sometimes that even happens. But that paragraph I typed in earlier is politely ignored. I have to start over. Thank goodness for copy and paste.
Sometimes the human is on an extended tea break. I am expected to keep staring at the chat window for as long as it takes. But after 5 minutes, I’ve gone on to something else – perhaps my own tea break. The human appears after 15 minutes, and disappears after 15 seconds. Where did they go? Has AI already caused human extinction? Any contact information I entered is also extinct.
Next on the list of disappearing things is my patience. And I’m not sure that it is coming back.
What do you think?