Every industry has its jargon. That’s because we need a way to express complex ideas, like foreign key constraint. A shared vocabulary makes it easier to communicate.
But sometimes jargon is just jargon. It can be used to confuse and conceal. Like political speak, it can be a way to say a lot without saying anything.
Corporate jargon often sounds impressive, but says very little. Sometimes the people hearing it don’t understand it. Even worse, sometimes the people using it don’t understand it.
Welcome to JHAFC
I read about JHAFC on LinkedIn recently. I don’t know where the term originated. Neither does Google, and Co-pilot is hallucinating.
JHAFC: Just Have A Flipping Conversation
[Use your choice of adjective. As the acronym isn’t pronounceable, you can use anything from "actual" to "zestful". Ok, I struggled to find an adjective that started with "z".]
Think about this sentence:
“Let’s circle back and synergize our core competencies to engage in some blue-sky thinking and embrace the low-hanging fruit to ensure we have all our ducks in a row.”
Or:
“We’ll deploy a phased transformation roadmap to unlock latent value and catalyze enterprise agility across verticals.”
If that sounds like something you hear at the office, you have my deepest sympathy. (I didn’t think those sentences up – I found them in an article on corporate buzz words.)
So many buzz phrases, so little meaning. In a multi-cultural, multi-generational workplace, we already have enough confusion. Why do we need more?
JHAFC is the alternative to corporate word salad. It’s what happens when you stop trying to sound like a Gartner whitepaper, and start trying to be understood.
Consultant speak
Consultant speak is corporate speak at a price. It’s designed to sound exclusive, strategic, and indispensable.
I’ve been a consultant, and I’ve worked with consultants. I learned about this by watching consultants from big-name firms. I’ve upset people by wanting an actual explanation. And I’ve used this kind of speak to get management approval.
Some hated phrases
I did a little research to find the most hated corporate speak. The list is very long, so I only picked a few.
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Anything with the words “synergy”, “leverage” and “agile”.
Over-use has destroyed the meaning of these words. -
“Take the helicopter view”.
The first time I heard this, I hoped it meant I didn’t have to drive to the client’s site. I love small aircraft. -
“Let’s run it up the flagpole”.
In case you were wondering where this comes from, the rest of the saying is "and see who salutes". I suppose it sounds more interesting than getting "buy-in". -
“We’re building the plane while we’re flying it”
No, this doesn’t mean you are being agile (yuck) and innovative. It actually means you’re making it up as you go along. -
“I’ll be out of pocket”
Apparently this means that you will be unreachable. I thought it meant I had to pay for something with my own money. Gen-X thinks it means to behave in a rude or unacceptable way. Proof that corporate speak is doomed to be misunderstood. -
“We need some blue sky thinking”.
Because it’s not enough to colour outside the lines, or think outside the box, or “ideate”, or have a “mind meld”. What does it mean if the sky is rainy or stormy? -
“We need to bucketize the deliverables”.
FYI: "Bucketize" is not a real word. -
“I’m going to give you back 10 minutes of your life”.
So this meeting ended 10 minutes early. But if you didn’t schedule unnecessary meetings, I could have so much more of my life back!
And then there are the computer terms that get hijacked:
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“Let’s double-click on the numbers”.
Except that mouse button action is used for more things than drilling down. -
“Give me a quick download”.
Tech is amazing, but your brain hasn’t been uploaded yet. -
“Please ping the client and let’s sync next week”.
Just … yuck.
There are so many more. But I chose the “low-hanging fruit”, because I don’t want to “boil the ocean”. And I don’t have the “bandwidth” for more, so let’s “put a pin in it”.
Capisce? Probably not. Which is the point. It doesn’t matter if you think it sounds impressive. It matters if I understand you.
What corporate buzzwords annoy you the most?