Coding matters: Your cellphone overlord

AI-generated cartoon image of lots of people in a queue looking at their phones.

A while back, a client said he was on a cell phone detox. (A bit of a problem, when it was his work phone.) It’s not only teenagers who are tied to their phones with an invisible umbilical cable.

Once upon a time, people went out without a telephone. Or an encyclopaedia, dictionary, games terminal, map book, and music system.

Some of us can remember those days. Some of us believe we are the masters of our cell phones. But who (or what) is really in charge?

I’m in charge

During the last years of my parents’ lives, I was paranoid about being away from my phone. Because women’s clothes often don’t have pockets, I strung a ribbon through my phone case. Now I can wear my phone around my neck. It looks weird, but it works.

It was a few months after both my parents had passed away before I could relax if my phone was more than a meter away. Now I often walk around without my phone, especially over weekends.

So I don’t think of myself as someone who is addicted to my phone.

My moment of truth

Last Saturday I left my cell phone behind after an exercise class. I realised it within a few minutes, but the studio was already locked. And, of course, I had no way to phone the instructor.

How was I going to contact the studio owner? How was she going to call me back? I have a VOIP landline, but it’s fixed in one room. My solution was to borrow Renier’s phone. (He only uses it to WA me.)

I would be fine without my phone for the rest of the weekend. Not a problem.

Or so I thought.

It amazed me how much I missed my phone. And not for communicating. I wanted to do an image search. I wanted to play Sudoku and Wordle. I wanted to look up something. And did I dare drive to the local Spar? What if the car broke down on the very long 1.5km trip?

Symptom checklist

Here are some symptoms that you may not be in as much control as you think:

  • The Panic Pat
    You panic because your phone is missing. You pat every pocket, bag and surface. You check under seats and beds. You experience deep relief when you realise your phone is next to you. Or deep dread when, like me last week, you can’t find it.

  • The Google Reflex
    You cannot sit through any conversation without using your phone to check something. What was the name of that film? What is the population of Alaska? How much does a pool pump cost?

  • The Throne Zone Scroll
    You cell phone accompanies you to the bathroom. Why just sit, when you can sit and scroll? After hours, my Kindle makes the trip with me. (TMI!)

  • The Rabbit Hole Dive
    You are just going to check one notification before bed. The next thing you know, it’s 2am and you are still watching funny cat videos.

  • The Low-Battery Breakdown
    You’re away from home and your battery is down to 7%. You start to panic that it won’t last until you can find a way to charge it.

  • The Dot Dot Dot Freakout
    You send a message, and see the “typing…” notification. You wait in suspense. Then … nothing. Did they abandon the reply or change their mind? What does it mean? Is it me or is it them?

And the list goes on.

Be a rebel

Be a rebel. Put the phone down. Go outside without GPS. But don’t go too far – someone might send you a funny video.

I’d love to hear your comments.

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